Weary, I yet search.

Stumbling, I continue forward.

Onward, I glance back again;

Are You there?

 

The largest organ of me is hidden from sight –

It is not the covering of these frail bones and sinews of broken memories;

It is the ever-evolving Spirit of You, of me,

Melded as One –

Or so I used to believe.

 

You seduce; I am easily flustered.

You whisper; I fear the loss of mental solidity.

You shine; I feel warmth on the surface,

But the light loses power in my core darkness.

You create dreams; I break them.

You become my home; I wander.

 

“The human spirit is stronger than we realize,” they prattle to me.

Can’t they see how shattered and worn-out I am?

I see a vision of a house in the distance

Which once portrayed all meaning of “home” to me.

Now it mocks as the feet turn into yards and the yards turn into miles

Between safety and the wild wilderness in which I am entrapped.

Alas – my legs are crippled by unbelief,

My arms weakened from years of neglect

To nurture hope or build up courage –

Both of which must be exercised over time in order to realize

Any meaningful effect.

 

Perhaps I could cry out for a neighbor to carry me home;

But no one is there is hear my call.

Perhaps I should give up and give in to despair;

That is what my aching heart is screaming.

But something more – something calm, still, resilient –

Persists within me.

It will be my undoing –

It could be my salvation.

 

Hope remains alive.

I can still see home…

All is not lost –

I might still be found.